Please allow me to be vulnerable and transparent with you today and share with you one of my journal entries written on my way to Washington DC for the Shared Hope conference.
November 7, 2013
As I sit in the middle seat of my layover flight to Chicago, I ponder on my excitement for this conference and I ask myself, why? I tend to ask that question very often. For example I always ask that question when someone apologizes -- especially to my husband. It is a question for certainty, to test the motives and the heart behind the apology. It may be that I want to feel understood or that my emotions are validated to some extent. When I ask myself why, really comes from a vulnerable place for me. It is a place in which I discover more about myself as I live this journey called life. I challenge myself to go deep into the roots of why I do what I do. In a sense, the Why keeps me accountable and keeps my feet grounded. So now, back to the answer to my question, why?
There are two things about this conference that I just can't wait for:
1.The chance to meet one of the speakers. She is a survivor of sex trafficking, she is an awesome woman of God and I know God has a lot to say to me through her. Her name is Rebecca Bender. I'm excited and looking forward to meeting her.
2.The GALA! This excitement was beyond all other topics of the conference. Don't get me wrong, I was extremely excited to learn and experience this event but The Gala became the cherry on top. I stressed over what to wear, how to do my hair, what heels would match my dress. I mean you would've thought I was walking the red carpet.
So sitting in this plane I asked why am I so thrilled about the Gala? Could it be the sense of a fairy tale ball that I, the unqualified Cinderella will be attending? Not in search of a Prince Charming but in search of that innocent little princess that was stripped from me. That little girl that dreams of going to a ball and dance the night away. Could it be that my excitement for attending the ball was the redemption of an interrupted child fairy tale? Could it be that for one night I would be that princess? That redeemed little girl ready for the ball...
So I went to the ball, I met Rebecca Bender, and I had a blast!